[hiding from the Lord Ruler]
Vin: Guys, what are we going to do?
Kelsier: Ugh, what are you worried about? You’re so small they probably won’t even see you.
Vin: Kelsier! Is this really the time to be making short jokes?
Kelsier: Vin, there’s never not a time because just like you, life is short.
White Sand: *Eric Andre voice* who killed the sand masters? Also it’s a comic instead of a book for some reason.
Elantris: A poor understanding of geography causes the zombie apocalypse.
The Hope Of Elantris: Sanderson realizes he forgot to write the ending of Elantris.
The Emperor’s Soul: Original Soul donut steal
Mistborn: Gandalf is evil and the Fellowship has to take him the fuck down.
Wax And Wayne: Lethal Weapon but with magic and cowboys
Allomancer Jak: *Indiana Jones music plays*
Mistborn Secret History: Kelsier discovers the mysteries of the universe and gets totally burned by Hoid.
Mistborn Era 3: Hotline Miami: Scadrial Edition
Mistborn Era 4: HOID IN SPACE
Warbreaker: The worst honeymoon ever. Guest-starring the Master Sword.
Nightblood: Will likely be (and should be) renamed “Vasher and Nightblood’s Excellent Adventure” when it comes out.
Shadows For Silence In The Forests Of Hell: A bounty hunter tries to catch a bad guy whilst respecting the trigger warnings of angry ghosts.
Sixth Of The Dusk: That scene from Spongebob where a caveman meets a robot.
The Silence Divine: *smokes blunt* dude what if the flu gave you superpowers dude.
Dragonsteel: Is probably gonna attract a bunch of dragon fuckers to the fandom. People will ship Hoid and Frost, if they haven’t started to already.
Edgedancer: Lift has a wacky misadventure while the world gets invaded by cosmic horrors.
The Stormlight Archive: Cosmere: Infinity War. It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is getting eaten by Voidbringers.
[CRAPPY DOODLE TIME]
It’s been a while since I last doodled… Anyway, saw Vehura’s @otome-obsessed tweet [LINK HERE] and had the urge to doodle this for days. Now’s the only time I can force my hands to work outside work.
Nobunaga please stop being so adorable in every route dammit 😣 my heart can only take so much
“Stop treating [female characters] like a role and start treating them like a person. Most of the times when guys write girls poorly, it is because they are saying "Well, this is the X. This person’s role in the story is X,“ and they make the person not exist beyond that. Every character, regardless of gender, should have their own motives, passions, and you should be able to know what they were going to do with their life if the plot hadn’t smashed into them, and that can go a long way toward helping with that. That was the big thing for me, was not writing anyone to a role, but making everyone the hero of their own story. That was the big thing, but it was a process over time, figuring out treating people like characters instead of roles. That’s kind of nebulous, right? Tell them to read a bunch of books by women, because a lot of them haven’t, and that’s part of the reason they’re doing it poorly. Oh and here’s another big thing. The first way of being sexist in your writing involves writing people into roles, right? Into stereotypes. The next thing that people generally do, you’ll see this a lot in cinema right now, is take the underrepresented group, or the token female or something, and make them awesome, so that they don’t actually have any sort of… they’re just good at everything. Right? That’s the next level of doing something wrong, and the third is where you’re like, “Wait a minute. Let’s make everybody kind of quirky and interesting in their own way, rather than putting anyone on a pedestal,” and things like that. And it’s a process for all of us. You’ll notice that like in the Mistborn books, I was so focused on making sure I had a strong female lead, that there are like no other women in the book. And that’s a really common mistake. But you’ll just get better at it the more you write.”
—
Brandon Sanderson
“What did she tell you?” he said, voice ragged, “What did your mother say about me?”
“The only honest officer in the army,” Renarin said, “The honourable soldier. Noble, like the Heralds themselves. Our father. The greatest man in Alethkar,”
What stupid words. Yet Dalinar found himself weeping. Renarin let go, but Dalinar grabbed him, pulling him close.
Oh Almighty. Oh God. Oh God, Please… I’ve started to hate my sons. Why hadn’t they learnt to hate him back? They should hate him. He deserved to be hated.
Please. Anything. I don’t know how to get free of this. Help me. Help me…
Dalinar wept and clung to that youth, that child, as if he were the only real thing left in a world of shadows.
—
I drew some cute Father-son bonding from Otherbringer for you all
incorrect-timeless-quotes
Wyatt: Whose butt did you kiss to get in here anyway?
Flynn: The list is long, but distinguished.
